Drowning

I cant say anything with you getting upset. I cant have a opinion. Im dying. Even if I try to be what I want you to be, Even that I cant be enough. Im tired. Im scared. I feel trapped even.I cannot trust you fully and you have already made up you mind not to trust me. Every time we hang out we fight. WE have to fight every time we hangout ! I hate it. Im sick. I'm sad. Im depressed. I want relief. I want a way out. I want peace. There can be no peace, just separate lives. Just lives being fake with each other on a daily basis. I'll be what you think you want not what you need. Im depressed. Im lonely. Im dying inside. Unhappy with everything. Im dying inside. Do you not see me? DO you not see my pain? My frustration? My agony? Where can I go? No where? Where can I hide? No where? I can not run! You will taunt me. When Im scared, you tell me I'm weak. When I'm crying on the floor you make me feel worthless. I am nothing, a shadow. Help me, before I am destroyed emotionally.

Need to Breathe

Sometimes I feel the need to express my feelings, but I get in trouble. Sometimes I want to give up. Sometimes I want to delete. Sometimes I want to getaway. Sometimes I wonder if God sees me. If he sees my anguish, my frustration, and my sadness. Sometimes I feel like the only one I can rely on is the Lord. No one else is dependable, not my parents, not my friends, not even my sweet husband. I'm in it alone.Just the Lord and me. Why is life so complicated? Why do feelings get hurt over trivial things? Why do people hate so much? I'm tired and worn down from all the emotion. I can't share my inner most thoughts without being patronized for it. I look forward to the day when Jesus will make all things new.